


Regulation Sigma Epsilon X-6.9

by Owl_Lady



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Allusions to smut, Established Relationship, Handcuffs, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29351037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owl_Lady/pseuds/Owl_Lady
Summary: Julian is picking up a boring night shift, or at least, it IS boring until Quark and Odo show up.
Relationships: Odo/Quark (Star Trek)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26
Collections: Quodo Mini-fest





	Regulation Sigma Epsilon X-6.9

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chacusha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chacusha/gifts).



> Hey! So it's been a minute but I'm back with some Quodo stuff for the Mini-Fest! I hope you ENJOY!

“We have to get help”

“ _ We are NOT getting help” _

“THEN YOU FIX THIS”

“I’M TRYING”

“THEN WHY ARE WE STILL LIKE THIS”

“BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING DIFFICULT”

“ ** I’M BEING DIFFICULT,  ** YOU’RE THE ONE WHO GOT US INTO THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE”

“.................FINE……..we’ll get help”

~+~+~+~

Nightshift in the Medbay on DS9 was, unlike most other shifts on DS9, extremely boring. Usually, whatever wacky space hijinks the universe had in store for the station, chose to wait until Alpha shift. But, Nurse Jabara needed the night off to take care of some family business and Julian was more than happy to oblige. 

Well, he’d rather be elsewhere, but Jabara needed the break and he couldn’t say no. It wasn’t going to be all that bad. He’d actually get to catch up on some paperwork which was a good thing.

The night was going mostly smooth when he heard a large commotion from outside the doors of the medbay. Julian quirked his head up and tried to listen in, but before he could pick out certain words the doors of the medbay swooshed open. Julian watched as Quark and Odo were shoving at each other all the while yelled at each other's faces. The two were quite close together and if Julian didn’t know better he’d say that they were holding hands. Quark and Odo had started a tenuous relationship a while ago, but neither had  ** ever  ** been open enough to do any sort of PDA, no matter how empty the medbay was.

“Can I help you?” Julian asked, trying to raise his voice over their argument. Quark turned his head away from Odo and towards Bashir.

“Yes!” Quark said as he moved his hand away from Odo’s. It took all of Julian's extensive medical training to not burst into laughter and fall on the floor. Their hands were quite close together, but only because they were handcuffed to each other. Julian began to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the laughter in.

“Are….are those?” He began to question.

“ **_ Yes _ ** ” Odo grumbled out, looking anywhere BUT at Julian’s face. Julian nodded. 

“And….what seems to be the problem?” Julian asked. Julian was  ** quite  ** aware of what the problem more than likely was, but some dark part of him needed to hear them say it. Odo turned to glare at Quark and Quark huffed.

“Well…..we’re stuck” Quark said. Julian nodded.

“How exactly? Can Odo just….ooze out of them?” Julian asked. Quark sighed heavily while Odo huffed and crossed his one free arm over his chest.

“Well...um...these are special….. _ handcuffs _ …..apparently there is this low frequency that causes Changelings to be unable to….melt. They did a little research on it during the war but it ended before they had a chance to do anything with it” Quark explained. Julian let out a tiny laugh but quickly played it off as a cough. 

“Is...um...is there not a key?” Julian asked, pointing to the cuffs. Thankfully they appeared to be normal handcuffs. If they have any sort of fluff or fur on them Julian knew he wouldn’t have been able to keep his cool.

“It’s all his fault” Odo spat out.

“IT IS NOT” Quark yelled right back. Odo was gearing up for another yell when Julian clapped his hands together loudly. 

“HEY” Julian yelled, getting both of their attentions. 

“NO YELLING IN SICKBAY” Julian yelled at them. Quark sighed and Odo glared at him.

“Now I’m going to ask again. Where is the key?” Julian said softly. Odo took this time to glare at Quark who began to turn a darker shade of orange.

“ _ Someone  _ ** swallowed it ** ” Odo said pointedly. 

“You swallowed it?” Julian asked in surprise. 

“I didn’t  _ mean  _ to. I put it in my mouth because my hand was busy doing…..something else and then  ** HE  ** bumped into me and next thing I know the damn thing is down the hatch” Quark explained.

“I didn’t bump into you” Odo argued.

“You  ** AB-SO-LUTE-LY ** did” Quark argued back.

“I DON’T CARE!” Julian yelled again. He sighed looking at the two hopeless enemies in front of him. Whatever entity was pulling the strings up there must have had a field day when they put these two together. That or Quark had done something REAL fucked up in a past life.

“Well, from what I know of the Ferengi stomach, that key is long gone. So you’re going to need a laser cutter to get those things off….but you’ve got an even bigger problem on your hands” Julian said, trying to hide his smile because there was nothing about this that was funny at all.

“What exactly is such a problem?” Quark asked.

“Well, according to Starfleet regulation Sigma Epsilon X-6.9 I can’t take these cuffs off of you” Julian said. Quark and Odo bristled at this new information.

“And why not?” Odo nearly growled.

“Because I have no idea the context in which they were put on. For all I know, you could both be criminals and I could be aiding your escape. I can’t take these off without the permission of the Chief of Security” Bashir said.

“I AM THE CH-”

“And if the Chief of Security  ** is  ** one of the people involved then I have to ask the Captain'' Julian continued. Julian said those words and watched as all the color drained from Quark’s face. 

“You mean…..we have to go ask Sisko to….” Quark tried to eke out. 

“I’m afraid so” Julian said with a nod. Odo huffed.

“This is ridiculous. I am Chief of Security and I say that we are not criminals. Just  _ help us _ ” Odo growled out. Julian cocked his head to the side.

“If you weren’t arresting someone Constable then why on earth did you have handcuffs out?” Julian asked, trying to keep his shit-eating grin to himself. Odo opened his mouth to say something but before he could Quark smacked his bound hand over his mouth, with Odo’s bound hand coming up next and smacking Odo in the face.

“QUARK” Odo yelled with a muffle. Quark turned to Julian and flashed him a trademark Ferengi grin.

“We’ll be going to see Captain Sisko then. Thank you for your time Doctor” Quark said. He then turned to Odo and dropped the smile. He lowered their bound hands and he began to trudge his way out of the medbay, all but dragging Odo behind him.

As quickly as they had entered the medbay, they were gone and the medbay was quiet again.

“Well  ** that  ** was interesting”

~+~+~+~

The next morning Julian was still in medbay a few hours after the start of Alpha shift. He’d finished all his paperwork hours ago and was really itching for some weird medical emergency to pop up. This is until Constable Odo trudged his way into medbay. This time without Quark dragging behind him attached at the wrists.

“Constable Odo, to what do I owe the pleasure” Julian said with a smile. Odo had a murderous look in his eyes.

“Did you get your problem solved last night?”Julian asked, trying to seem genuine. If Odo was a biological person he’d probably be turning red right about now.

“If you  _ must  _ know, Captain Sisko was not happy to be woken up at 0400 hours. Even when I cited regulation Sigma Epsilon X-6.9” Odo said tersely. 

“Even after a long lecture, which I did  ** not  ** appreciate, he didn’t have the tool he needed to separate us so he sent us to Cheif O’Brien’s” Odo recounted. Julian had to cover his mouth with his hand because there was no way in the world he could stop the smile spreading over his face. MILES HAD SEEN IT.

“Did Miles have the laser cutter?” Julian asked, barely able to say it without laughing. Odo glared at him.

“Yes, but Quark had to bargain with him before he agreed to cut us loose” Odo said. Julian snorted.

“You shouldn’t have had to do that. You did cite the regulation for him didn’t you?” Julian said. 

“ _ About that regulation  _ **_ Doctor _ ** . I looked it up this morning…...I could find no such regulation in ANY of the Starfleet manuals” Odo said, crossing his arms over his chest. Julian lowered his hand and put on a fake look of surprise.

“That’s strange” He said.

“What I  ** did  ** find was an article written in The Ensign Newsletter. Apparently, at the Academy, there is a fake regulation called Sigma Epsilon X-6.9 that officers will cite when they want another officer to come and observe something they find…. ** amusing ** ” Odo said. Bashir shook his head as if he had never heard of such a thing.

“It’s nicknamed the ‘You-Gotta-Check-This-Shit-Out’ regulation” Odo said flatly. Julian nodded. Odo then slowly leaned into Julian’s personal space.

“I could have you court-martialed for this” Odo said in a low threatening voice. Julian stared directly at him.

“For what? If you court-martialed me, then you'd have to go on record saying  _ exactly  _ what I did. Are you prepared to do that Constable?” Julian shot back with a smirk. Julian saw fear flicker momentarily in Odo’s eyes before they hardened again. Odo leaned back out of Julian’s space and cleared his throat.

“Did you need anything else Constable?”Julian asked. Odo only glared at him before mumbling something and walking out of the medbay. Julian smiled to himself as he watched him go. Eventually, he turned around to his desk and he could only think of one thing.

He couldn’t WAIT to talk to Miles at lunch today.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading, please feel free to leave a comment/kudos, and as always THANKS FOR READING.


End file.
